Disclaimer: This is not written in the elaborate, well-thought-out style to which you are accustomed. The writing may falter, but if authenticity is what you like and enjoy, stay tuned. There’s plenty coming!

Goodness! So much for me writing in diary form from now on. Where did I disappear to? How ridiculous! Who am I trying to kid? Gym four times a week, working in the family business part-time, housekeeping, meals, mothering to the kids who both still live at home. On the odd occasion when I have some time to spare, my brain goes to mash and my muses decide to take a nap. I feel so guilty about not making time to write that now even that guilty feeling is hampering my feeble efforts to put pen to paper. As the muscles in my body have begun to develop and become obvious (better late than never, right?), my brain muscle is floppy and reluctant to go into workout mode. Why can’t I do both? I am almost fifty-six, not seventy-six! It is scary shit when you feel the beginning of that decline in your abilities. People always say time flies, but it is never more apparent how fleeting our lives are than when your body’s faculties start to fail.

Anyhow, enough of that depressing stuff. It is Saturday today and one of my kids happens to be on her way to Berlin and the other in the UK. My husband is arriving here today. I am in the Balearic Islands, alone. Doesn’t happen often, so I intend to make the most of it. After 30 years of marriage and twenty-seven of intense parenting, I really look forward to being alone. I look forward to sleeping alone; to not feel that pressure to have sex unless I feel like it; to not have to succumb to the expectations of another. I have relatives who think it is important to keep the other one happy, if you know what I mean. To them I say, f**k that! There is no greater sex than the one that is mutually desired, sought and enjoyed in equal measure. I would rather have those occasions every now and then than fall into routine, dutiful, predictable, and almost mechanical sex. The eternal insurmountable disparity between how men and women perceive what a sexual relationship should be. Who is right and who is wrong? Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn. I know what makes me whole and happy and I am not about to give up decades of brave souls fighting for women’s equality and liberation so that I can keep someone by my side. If they know what is good for them, they’ll stay. If they walk, it is their loss and most certainly my gain as I continue to do ME and retain my integrity, dignity, and joy. Geez, how did I end up talking about sex? It is as good a subject as any, I guess. Well, it is a better subject than most. After all, sex as well as money, or rather greed, makes the world go round and round and round and up and down, up and down. Lol!

It is a bit too windy to go out on the boat today and there is a red alert for a DANA; a Spanish term for a weather phenomenon characterized by a cold, isolated depression at high altitudes. It’s also known as a “cold drop” and is associated with heavy rainfall and potential flooding in Spain and the western Mediterranean. Last Dana in 2024 killed 234 people in Valencia. It was horrific! Right now, the storm is covering a large area in the North of Spain. I am not 100% it will hit the Balearic Islands, but I have been out at sea here when the weather was on the turn and it is not a fun experience. Boat rolling up and down as if going on an endless roller-coaster. No thanks! This links back to what makes me happy. Men like to show off, race each other at sea displaying their small-dick syndrome for all to see. It is all about who has the strongest conviction that they are Kings (of the sea or otherwise) if only for those few minutes they are thrusting their engines to the max. It makes for an extremely uncomfortable passage for the rest of us mere mortals, but their misconceived divinely given right to be adored and admired must be preserved and defended at all costs. Hey Ho, there is always another sunny day on these islands, so no need to fret. I am grateful that I and those whom I love are alive and as well as can be; I have food and drink on my table and my conscience is at peace. I don’t need thrills in my life, and I most certainly don’t need to prove to anyone that my life is worthier or better than theirs. I am just eternally grateful that I still have a life, and I am the only captain at its helm. Happy sailing!