Listening to the velvety tones of Diana Krall’s suggestive voice is most certainly the tonic I need today to rescue me from the mundanity of family life.
Covid seems to be gathering strength for round two of contagion and devastation, at least in Europe, and because of it, we are all battening down the hatches, regrouping and stocking up for what is promising to be a very interesting or rather challenging Autumn and Winter.
Despite governments trying their best efforts to reassure the population about the measures in place to prevent the chaos that ensued the first time round, there is a real sense in the air of the despair that comes when you realise you are about to fall into a deep hole. No one really knows what is coming, but everyone agrees that the next few months are going to be incredibly difficult.
New rules of social distancing, new curfews in bars and pubs, new limits about who you can meet up with, where and when. The prospect of having to wait endlessly for medical appointments, the loneliness, the anxiety about businesses closing down for good, but above all, the fear and suspicion abounding wherever you go; the restlessness and gloominess that is depleting the air we breathe from oxygen, and turning it instead into a poisonous dread that will get to us even if Covid doesn’t.
It is so damn easy to get caught up in all this darkness. I am not perfect. God no. I am as wretched as the next person, but the Leo spirit definitely bursts out alive within me every time adversity swallows me up like sand does water. Like a lioness, I instinctively put on my invisible armour and I fight; I fight to the death whatever is coming against me. I sometimes surprise myself about some of the ways in which I have coped with some very challenging circumstances; how I have fought to give the best I can to those whom I love when they themselves have come under attack, scrutiny or discrimination of any kind.
I feel we are about to enter one of those big black clouds of adversity. I am all geared up for the fight. I am standing at the gate doing my watch night and day waiting for that enemy to approach. I remain fully aware however that the biggest enemy I will ever have to face and have already faced on many occasions is despair, fear, negativity. There are many ways one could define life but right now for me life is that overrated journey everyone keeps raving about but most forget to mention about the amount of unimaginable shit that you have to face along the way.
All that said, it is down to each of us how we navigate those turbulent waters, and turbulent they will become more often than we care to endure. So as for me and my house, we will sail through it with perspective, taking one day at a time, not focusing on the unknowns of the future or becoming bitter for the resentments of our past. We will live in the moment, glad that we are alive for as long as we are.
Well, that and for me personally, a big dose of soul-builders like Diana Krall and heart warmers like this delicious glass of Tempranillo Tinto I am having with my dinner tonight.
If you are reading this, I send you my warmest wishes for the part of the journey we are all about to embark on. From the greatest adversity births and flourishes the most beautiful refinement that makes us shine and stand out; that makes us be of good use and support to someone else. Here’s to us all embracing what is yet to come; here’s to us all looking out for that one person nobody sees who needs protecting, encouraging or helping along the way.
As a side note, my 19-year-old just stepped into the kitchen as I am writing this and asked what I was doing. I told him I am writing on my blog. He asked what about. So I told him the gist of it to which he replied: ‘God mum, you sound like Winston Churchill’. I’ll take it!
Hi, I just wanted you to know that I enjoy reading your blog, and that there’s worse things in the world than speaking your mind with the power, passion, and conviction of someone like Winston Churchill.
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Thanks so much Rainey. I really appreciate that. He was certainly not an exemplary individual in other ways such as his Imperialist views or racist understanding of other cultures and peoples. However, no one can take away, as you say, the power of his words, his passion and conviction when it came to other incredibly important issues, so yeah I am truly flattered that you think I share those. By the way, I love reading your blog. It is a source of encouragement and light to me; seeing how you are coming out of a very challenging circumstance and growing. We have been exchanging comments for a while now, so I hope you can tell me your real name soon though I fully understand if you would still rather not. Sorry, I have this thing about people’s names. I think there is a lot packed in there somewhere. You can always drop me an email if you still wish to remain anonymous on here.
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I’m striving for some degree of anonymity out of respect for my son, at least through this hellishly long divorce process. It’s not a big deal though. Names schmames – you know the real me.
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Ugh! I hated myself for asking once again no sooner I posted my comment. Curiosity got the better of me once again. I understand of course. And yes, I know the real YOU. Though I can’t see you, I see you and though I can’t hear you, I hear you. Not quite sure what ‘Names schmames’ means though! 😊
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I love that your son gave you such a lovely compliment. I shine up inside when mine do it as well! Great blog post – and yes, I agree with your son about WC!
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WC!! That made me laugh! I am not sure he meant it as a compliment when he said that too me. LOL!
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